The Anonymous Suit's Guide: Sydney vs London

It just dawned on me that I have spent my entire life living in, or close, to second cities. It was a typically random thought I had whilst on yet another commuter trek to a city last week. This time it was Sydney, whilst most of my working life it's been London.

I consider second city residency one of my biggest achievements. Big city folk have often had a laugh at my expense over this particular small town boy, but as far as I'm concerned, I have spared myself commuter jammed trains, extortionate rents, and claustrophobia (though not a clinical diagnosis, my desire to break free from city life after 48 hours is good enough for me.)



I've not had it all my own way though, as even if I haven't had to live in a capital*, I have always had to frequent them regularly. As the corporate suits have often patronisingly told me, that's where most of the real action happens, and I don't disagree (Insert your own sarcastic comment here and take a huge 'second city' sigh if you must.) But even that has an upside, as I get to spend time in these great cities as a visitor rather than a resident, which markedly increases your appreciation for them.

So how do the gold lined streets of London and Sydney compare, when it comes to fleeting business encounters? I offer you an alternative comparison of these two heavyweights for this self confessed small city suit.

1) AIRPORTS
The obvious place to start, and important if like me you have to use them a lot. I think Heathrow is still the busiest airport in the world, and so you would think it would have had plenty of opportunity to get it right. You'd be wrong. It fails on so many counts: it's ugly, too spread out, too far from the city, and generally too much like hard work. They also seem to find it impossible to offer clean and working toilets and it goes downhill from there. Sydney airport on the other hand is closer to the city, clean and compact, and has a fast and cheap train connection. There is also a minimal amount of fuss in all it does. It takes about two minutes to get through security for a domestic flight in Sydney. Somehow it can take up to twenty minutes at Heathrow and then you practically have to strip naked to get through screening whilst being given filthy looks by some jobs worth security bloke who thinks everyone is a wannabe terrorist. Or worse, a deodorant smuggler. WINNER = Sydney

2) PUBLIC TRANSPORT
Remarkably traffic is even worse in Sydney than in London, where its sprawling suburbia and small streets are clogged mercilessly round the clock. Therefore taxis and trains are the only sensible options. The cities may be ten thousand miles apart, but cab drivers speak the same language; the universal take-you-for-a-ride speak, in both senses of the experience (but Athens cabbies win the prize for the worst.)
So, give me the train any day. The tube may be derided by Londoners, but is by far the world's best subterranean transport network simply due to its sheer scale. The fact it was built in victorian times is a testament to its genius. Sydney has an averagely passable rail network which scores highly for its double decker trains, but it just doesn't compare to the convenience of the Underground. Where Sydney does come into its own however, is with its fantastic network of ferries. I could ride these beauts all day (and I confess, I have). They occasionally throw in a dolphin escort on the Manly ferry for no extra charge. But since this is about work and convenience, I have to give it to London; sorry Flipper. WINNER = London.

3) SETTING
If you're lucky with the wind and the weather, then you can best appreciate both city settings from the air as you jet in. Arriving over the River Thames means you get a bird's eye view of all the major London landmarks, offering a fantastic and overwhelming sense of location and history. It's also like being on an interactive opening sequence to Eastenders. Sydney on the other hand has the spectacular natural harbour with its myriad of islands, coves and marinas, and I defy anyone not to be completely awe struck by the views of the Harbour Bridge and Opera House as you zoom overhead. Once you're on the ground and have spent a spare hour shooting the breeze, you realise Sydney really comes into its own is with its easy access to beaches. If you rush through your meetings by six, you could be on the beach by seven. Is it the most perfect natural setting for a capital in the world? Quite possibly. WINNER = Sydney.

4) LANDMARKS
My Dad is obsessed by bridges and its something he passed down to me unwittingly. I am both surprised and relieved he didn't christen me Isambard Kingdom. So no surprise that I find myself judging a city by the calibre of its river crossings. Here it comes down to a choice between Tower Bridge or Sydney Harbour Bridge. I love them both, but Tower bridge is a bridge apart. Stunningly designed, and recognised the world over. The Harbour bridge is without doubt iconic, but its heavy duty steel construction doesn't compare to the aesthetically pleasing gothic inspired masterpiece that is Tower Bridge. In addition to the Harbour bridge and the harbour itself, Sydney has the stunning Opera House and then, er, not a lot else. London has the mighty Big Ben which would probably win on its own, and when you throw in the Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square and the rest, it's a terribly one sided contest. Indeed a back street in Kensington probably holds more historical interest than the entire city of Sydney. WINNER = London.

5) WEATHER
You having a larf guv'nor? WINNER = Sydney, by a country mile.

6) FRIENDLINESS
Sydney is laid back and reasonably safe. There are riots in London. Whilst it's a bit unfair to judge it on current events, you could add in the muggings, murder rates, and other violent crimes that happen on non rioting occasions and you would come to the same conclusion: whilst you would be unlucky to be a victim, it could happen at any point in London. There is a seedy side to Sydney for sure, and they called it Kings Cross bizarrely, but its tame compared to Soho. There's plenty of safe places to chill so the WINNER = Sydney.

7) BILLY 'NO MATES' BAROMETER
The ultimate test for me - what's it like to be there on your lonesome? If I am not wining and dining with suppliers or customers, I tend to like informality and minimum fuss. Quick meal, and a pint in a pub is my main goal. London has these options, but the city is so spread out, it can be a tough gig, plenty of mid to high range eating options, not so many quality low end options. Sydney has King Street in Newtown - a street packed with casual dining options from all round the world, and more importantly lots of obscure vegetarian eateries. Crispy Soy Black Pepper with Massaman Curry on a plate of rice at the Green Palace. That will be $9.50 sir, and will be delicious. Beer at the Bank Hotel afterwards? Just $5 and please enjoy it in our beer garden. Marvellous. WINNER = Sydney.

And there you have it, Sydney is the winner on points, but comprehensively. Which is a good job, because I am there on a weekly basis at the moment. Now bring on the summer and prawn sandwiches at the SCG.


*Yes, I know that Sydney is not Australia's administrative capital, that honour goes to Canberra. However for all intents and purposes, Sydney is Australia's biggest city.