The Federation Trail is a twenty three kilometre bike path in Western Melbourne, running from just north of Williamstown, then through the south western suburbs to its conclusion just south of Werribee town centre. Its route has been made possible by, and closely follows Melbourne's old outfall open sewerage system. That might not be the best marketing hook for this trail even though the sewer has long since closed, but it does have its pros and cons. 
In a country defined in so many ways by its British heritage, I really thought it would be a land of plenty when it came to down to finding a good pub or three. Not so, and I have been sadly disappointed on numerous occasions. I have long since come to the conclusion that the reason tourists rave about British pubs so much is because you really can't find anything quite like them anywhere else in the world. 
Australia holds the world record for gambling, with more than eighty per cent of its adult population trying their luck on the horses, sports betting, casino tables or gaming machines (better known as Pokies to the locals.) It's the Pokies that are the main draw and also a real social problem for many Australians - the sheer number of them is astounding: for a country with just the fifty third largest population in the world, it has by far the most gaming machines on the planet. Even a smallish Australian city puts Las Vegas to shame. They are absolutely everywhere, from cities to country towns, from casinos to your local pub. Australians spend more of their income on gambling than they do on putting clothes on their back. "For many, the jingles and electronic clatter of the "pokies" have become just as quintessentially Australian sounds as the call of a kookaburra." BBC NEWS ONLINE
I loved what these two guys did. Some cracking songs, some great live gags, some brilliant video sketches and some intensely awkward audience moments, the kind where you want to burst your seams, but you're not quite sure it's allowed. For example, their stand out track was a celebration of their girls' time of the month as a sign of their own ongoing freedom. But to think that this duo were a couple of crude, foul mouthed hoons would be far from the truth. They were razor sharp. Too sharp at times for the most of the audience, which occasionally left an awkward silence hanging in the air. Which was a shame, because this was their final series of performances as a duo, and I think their originality will be missed.
 |
| And some people say they're a bit backward in Geelong? |
Here's what you get at the Stonelea Country Estate: Kangaroos on your doorstep (tick), tranquil lake just yards from the deck of your cottage (tick), wholesome, delicious hot breakfast (tick), easy access to stunning hill walks in the Lake Eildon National Park (tick), cosy log fires (tick)... Stonelea has so many great things going for it, you may well wonder why anyone would dare complain. But complain they do (*see Tripadvisor if you don't believe me.) 
Bizzare. The only word I can use to describe the Tea Rooms. And I don't think I mean that in such a derogatory way, though I'm not 100% sure. We were expecting a cosy cafe with hearty home made food on a fresh Autumnal evening, eating with the locals, and maybe even washed down with a nice pot of Earl Grey. What we got was a high end Italian restaurant filled with City folk, complicated nouvelle cuisine, and all priced at the high end of the Melbourne CBD range (which is one hundred and fifty kilometers away by the way.)
Remember the days of rather boring animal conservation campaigns from yesteryear? The kind that had the phrase Save the Whale stamped at the top, with a picture of a sad looking Humpback underneath it? Nope? Not many people did. Lecturing to people has never been a popular way to get the masses inspired. |
| Bingo. My home for the start of Day 3. |
