The Melbourne Cup Carnival 2011 - what about the horse racing?

November 2011, Melbourne, Victoria

Big race meets just don't do it for me. I've never been to the Grand National, or Royal Ascot, or the Derby, and I had to turn down invitations to the Dubai World Cup on an annual basis. It's not the horses, it's the people they attract. The Races are like a daytime nightclub experience:  "Proctologist's dream. Wall to wall ar*eholes." (Cocktail 1988.)


Fashion, hats, big time charlies, WAGs, mirrors, make up and cocktails. Sounds a blast. Yet in spite of that I still accepted an invitation to the Melbourne Cup yesterday. The Schweppes Tent was called the Mixology Marquee for Christ sakes. But I am bloody glad that I did, because it reminded me what a marvellous thing horse racing can be.

There were some pretty good reasons for this.

Firstly, the quality of the fields. Of the ten races on the card, I reckon around half of them went to photo finishes - including the Melbourne Cup itself which was won by a horse's nasal hair for the first time ever. There were some fantastic races.

The Mixology Marquee
aka The Beer Tent

Secondly, it helps when you're winning. I had a simple plan, which was er, to stick to my plan. A bit of pre race form checking, pre picking my punts, $5 bets. I haven't been to the races for around 10 years - I must have been storing up my luck, as I somehow picked 5 winners or places, including Dunaden itself in the Cup (never have I been more thankful for nasal hair), and a $70 win on the last race with Under the Eiffel. So I was pretty lucky. My mate was better off by the end of the day. He was matching my $5 bets with $50, this was one big time charlie sporting a rather large pocketful of cash.

Thirdly, light beer. Yep, that isn't a misprint. I said light beer. We were there for eight hours, in a Mixology tent, and whatever that actually means, it translates as FREE booze. Let's be honest it could have got very messy. Taking it easy paid rich dividends.

Lastly, great company. It was a ponce free event. Apart from the Mixology tent-thingy.