Aerosinusitis - aka Plane Brain.

About four months ago during the descent on a flight to Hobart in Tasmania, I really thought I was going to die. There was no engine failure, or electrical storms, or big hairy Muslim-cum-terrorist sweating profusely next to me and fidgeting non-stop. None of that. It was ten times worse. My brain felt like it was going to explode.

It came from nowhere. My pea size brain suddenly pounded to the size of a tennis ball, as some mysterious force pierced my skull with a three inch wide needle, and then played the hokey-kokey inside. And whilst all this was going on, someone then stuck a dagger right into my mouth where I had a filling the day before. This lasted for fifteen whole, long, minutes.   

If you're a woman reading this, you are probably thinking this was a bad version of man flu or something, but I am not alone:

Kevin Pieterson - You Idiot.

Oh Kevin. You idiot. You thought you had it all, you were of top of the world, you were invincible. And you've nearly lost it all because of a text? How is that even possible?

Never mind that you personally are obviously as thick as two short planks, who the hell are your PR advisors? T|he same as Saddam Hussain's? While the rest of Team GB were perfecting their Mobot in celebration of a true British hero, you were advised to release a staged video interview on You Tube where you didn't even have the good grace to grovel. You idiot.

Edinburgh Festival's Funniest Jokes.

August 2012.

It's Edinburgh Fringe Festival time, which is an ideal reason for any traveler to visit Scotland. That's just about a good enough reason for this blog post. It will also give you some one liners to use on your travels, which will make you popular wherever you may land. Here's the pick of this year's jokes: 

YHA Main Beach, Gold Coast. Party On Dude.

When the YHA's own website says 'not recommended for families' it's a bit of a giveaway that the hostel is going to be full of young party people, and your chances of a decent night's sleep are going to be pretty slim. Having just spent three nights in the Brisbane Hilton, I'd had enough of being pampered anyhow, and since tonight's stay was coming out of my own pocket, I was happy to take a chance on it.

Viva Brisvegas!

Irony, pure irony.

That can be the only reason Brisbane’s locals proudly proclaim this picturesque, yet almost sleepy city, Brisvegas. There’s no world class entertainment, or round the clock partying, and not a gargantuan casino resort in site. In fact the only similarity I can see is that both cities bask in almost permanent sunshine.

Head an hour’s south to the fabled Gold Coast, and that’s an entirely different story.

Brisbane, Free WiFi Surfin' in Brisbane Parks - Perfect office for the 9 to 5 explorer!

August 2012, Brisbane, Queensland. 

I have just found the most idyllic mobile office. Perfect for the 9 to 5 explorer. Comfortable desk. Check. Peaceful location. Check. Free wifi. Check. Coffee on the go. Check. Sun rising above the river. Er, Check. Ibis on the left. Double check. Parrots on the right. Triple check. Fifty two hectares of Queensland's finest Botanical Gardens in full view. Check mate.

You see, Brisbane council has made all it's city parks free wifi zones. What a spankingly marvelous idea. Ok, so it may seem a little sad to be catching up on emails at 6.30am sat in a park all on my lonesome, but it sure beats working in my hotel room. Or the office.