Something interesting has happened in the world of hostels over the past few years. A very subtle but important change. If you look closely, the word youth has all but disappeared from hostels around the world. Even the YHA never goes by its full name anymore, just by its trendy three letter acronym. Which is great news for those of us over 30, who aren't ready to hang up our backpacks just yet. Backpacking and hostels go hand in hand, and our memories of travelling the world are built from the unique experience of sharing budget accommodation with like minded explorers. Want to get in on the action? Don't let your age stop you. Modern hostels can be light years ahead of the crusty old dorms of yesteryear - they now come fully loaded with private rooms, en-suite bathrooms, barbecues, terraces, open fires and designer kitchens. And they still offer the best travelling experiences you can find.
There are still plenty of dives out there, and everyone has their own hosteling horror stories, and a few of mine are included below. If you haven't used a hostel before and you're over 30, or you just need a refresher course, then this guide might just well save your life. Or at very least, a good night's seep. Read on:
1) It's Not A Hotel
You may not have had your reading glasses with you, or are in denial that your eyesight is going, so make sure you realise that you've booked a hostel, and not a hotel. This is where addition is actually a form of subtraction. Adding the letter 'S' to the word h-o-t-e-l is actually taking away of lot of the creature comforts. That includes breakfast, those little shampoo and shower gel bottles you like to steal, tea and coffee in your room, a chocolate on your pillow, a minibar, and sometimes even a wardrobe. 'Youth' may have been removed from the advertising, but remember that 90% of your fellow guests will be under 25, so prepare yourself for some adolescent behaviour, and a lot of naked flesh on show. Best advice, remember you were once one of them, (who me?), and roll with it.
2) Lose your Hostel Virginity
Whilst hostels may not be for everyone, surely they're worth a try if only to figure out what all the fuss is about, or to save a few bucks. For over 30s first timers, it's best to ease yourself into the experience. First, stick to an official YHA, as they generally have a set of rules that most stick to. Second, choose a recently refurbished hostel. The YHAs in Apollo Bay (click here for my review) or Sydney Harbour for example have award winning designs, and built with the leading eco-friendly construction methods. Apollo Bay has a cosy lounge with a wood fire, whilst Sydney Harbour has a roof top terrace with views of the Opera House that a 5 star Boutique Hotel would be jealous of. The YHA has definitely realised that there is a market for, ahem, more mature travellers who still want the feel of a hostel, but with a little bit more style. It's the perfect way to break your duck. But be careful if you're recommending hostels to friends or taking them with you. We recommended the Crocodylus YHA in North Queensland to a couple of our more upwardly mobile pals, probably more used to staying in suites. They didn't enjoy their canvas rooms in the tropical jungle, and had a different interpretation of our vision of 'unforgettable experience.' I didn't bloody well force them to follow my advice, but I did feel guilty.
4) Choose A Private Room
You'll have a choice between shared dorms (small or large) or a private double or twin room. If you're over 30, never ever book a shared dorm. If you've already made a booking on the line, double check to make sure you didn't make a mistake. Then triple check just in case. You know that internet thingy confuses you. It may be tempting because it's cheap, you may have fond memories of making new friends when thrown together in a dorm, but it's not the same once you pass 30. You'll be fuming when tweenies come back pissed at stupid o'clock trying to be quiet loudly, or just by obnoxious idiots who don't even try to be quiet and use their phones all night. I've woken to find my shared room door wide open, returned to my room to find some stranger in my bed, and even got back once to find two half naked girls asleep in my room with panties and bras hanging everywhere (I should have noticed all dorms at Queenscliff YHA are mixed.) So book a private room, and save making friends for the common areas. If you do have to share a room, heaven forbid, get to your room early and make like a German claiming a sun-lounger. Yep, spread your towel out on a bottom bunk and make it yours.
4) Pick a Common Bathroom
You may well find a private room with an en-suite bathroom, but the chances are you'll have a choice between sharing a separate common bathroom (usually down the corridor on the same floor), or an en-suite bathroom if you're crazy enough to have booked a dorm room. My advice is always go for an external common bathroom, and here's why. It may seem like a good idea having a shared bathroom in your bedroom, but there will also be a toilet in there. Waking up to the sound of a fat Brazilian with chronic diarrhea just two metres from my pillow was a once in a lifetime experience I'll never ever go through again. You will also get the usual bathroom hoggers, and those with their own take on what personal hygiene means. Avoid. Take the pain of having to walk the 15 metres down the corridor to a shared bathroom. 5) Phone Ahead
So you've booked your room, chosen your bathroom option, and you're ready to go. Not quite. There's one more essential piece of advice I can give you, that I've learnt the hard way. Phone the hostel and see who else is staying, and where your room is. Tripadvisor and the Hostel website may have told you about the facilities and the neighbourhood, but who the heck will you be sharing your common areas with? We had a shocking experience at Bendigo YHA thanks to a bucks party and copious amounts of illicit drugs. Theirs, not ours. A quick 5 minute phone call ahead would have warned us of their hostile hostel takeover, and we would have changed our booking. You can also phone ahead to ask for quiet rooms, away from mixed dorms or common areas. This has come to our rescue a number of times. The Lakeside YHA in Queenstown, NZ even went to the trouble of looking at our previous booking, and re-booking us the exact same room as a previous stay, which we knew was in a quiet area. Get on the blower, occasionally it's better to speak with real, living people.
6) Avoid Party Nights & Party Towns
This one is common sense. You're over 30 and your Friday night probably ends before 11pm, after a nice meal and a quiet stroll back to the hostel. For those under 30, the night is just beginning, and you'll probably pass them in the corridor as you get ready for bed. So unless you plan to join them, think carefully about staying in hostels on a Friday night if you're in a party town like the Gold Coast or a major city like Sydney. A lot of young guys use hostels as a cheaper alternative to catching a cab home. Also be wary of public holidays like New Year's Eve. We booked into a private room at Canberra YHA for New Year only to find we had a bunch of teenagers next door intent on playing their loud music all night. My patience broke around 3am, and I stormed their room. The pre-pubsecent posse almost peed their pants. When we got up early and loudly at 8am, including childishly slamming all the doors, I got back from the bathroom to find they had smothered our bedroom door with toothpaste. Never again. 7) Use the Common Areas
The Common Areas are where hostels come into their own. There will be a kitchen, a dining area, a lounge, an internet cafe, and a TV room. In travelling terms these are the areas where experiences are shared, friends are made, and where you'll never feel alone. You can keep yourself to yourself and not feel out of place, or start a conversation with a total stranger where you won't be blanked. 'Do anything nice today?' is the perfect opener to kicking off a conversation that might last five minutes, or may mean you're still chatting a few hours later over a bottle of wine. You may think that at your age you've lost the ability to communicate with a random stranger, but it's easy and rewarding. Besides, it may come in handy later on when you need to borrow a spoonful of butter. Speaking of cooking, the shared kitchen means you can eat what you like, when you like, and work to your budget. Home from home. Yes, you'll have to put sticky labels on your food, and occasionally someone might 'borrow' your milk, but it's a small price to pay for the convenience. 
8) Book a Trip
Travellers are the best travel agents in the world. That's because they don't get paid commission. So there's no need to gamble on local activities and tour companies. Just ask people at the hostel who've been staying there a while, and use the information boards at reception. It's also great if you are travelling on your own, as there will be others in exactly the same boat. You'll also find the cheapest prices are always on offer at hostels, as most travellers are on a budget. I even pop into hostels in cities where I'm not staying at a hostel to get the best tours and prices. We did this recently in Newcastle, and had a fantastic day out with a group of six like minded and inebriated souls around the vineyards of Hunter Valley, saving ourselves forty bucks in the process.
9) Remember the Essential Hostel Kit
Firstly there's the basics: a towel, a washbag, some earplugs, a padlock, tea, coffee and milk, and of course vegemite (if you're 'Straylian.) Then you might need to think about other essentials you can't live without, whether a hairdryer for a woman, some hangers for clothes, an alarm clock, or even PJs for when you need to use the bathroom during the night. Plus, you'll want to stock up on groceries, either bringing them with you from home if you're in a car, or picking them up at a local store.
10) Follow the House Rules
There are a few rules you should follow, and some basic hostel etiquette. Leave everything as you find it, including washing and dry your dishes in the kitchen, and picking up your trash from the TV room. Generally be quiet in the corridors, as you never know when people might be sleeping. The hostel will have set aside some times every day when the kitchen or the bathrooms are closed for cleaning, so plan ahead. And nearly all hostels require you to drop off your bed linen to reception when you leave.
So there it is, the Top Ten tips for over 30's when it comes to hostels. The chances are once you've done it, a hotel will never feel the same. I've booked into the YHA in St Pancras in London instead of a five star hotel my business offered me. We've also looked longingly towards a YHA next door through the windows of our luxury but lonely Novotel hotel room, wishing we had stayed there instead. That might make us weird, especially since you've now read a selection of my horror stories. (I didn't even mention the night in Sorrento YHA when they had taken pity on a local homeless nutcase with Tourette's who screamed obscenities at herself all through the night - I didn't follow rule number 5 on that occasion.)
But I've also had nearly all of my best travelling experiences staying in hostels. Good luck.
You may also like - YHA Apollo Bay Hostel Review, How To Speak Straylian, YHA Main Beach, Gold Coast Review
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