9 to 5 Living - Australian homes are rubbish by European standards. It's like living in an Igloo.

June, 2011. Melbourne, Victoria.

To tell you the truth, I reckon an Igloo might be warmer than our house. The house actually came with a 5 star energy rating. This is a house with single glass panes that wobble when you touch them, single brick external walls with no insulation, and interior walls so thin you can have a perfectly clear conversation from one end of the house to the other, five rooms away. '5 Star rating my arse,' as Jim Royle would say.


Even though it's averaging around 15 degrees OUTSIDE in the relatively mild Victorian winter, easily manageable with a coat and a jumper, it's exactly the same temperature INSIDE the house. So when the temperature drops at night, getting up with my 5.30am alarm call is like stepping out into the Antarctic. Even the cats are shivering beneath our duvet, and they have fur coats.

It shouldn't be like this. I checked all the building details personally with the Engineers before we bought it - they assured me that all of the above was standard in Aussie homes, and met the highest energy rating from the government. He left me with this thought. "Remember this isn't England mate, it's not that cold." Maybe in Queensland but Victoria definitely is. And, it's not just us, I checked with friends, and all have the same ice box homes. We have since learned that there is now a 7 star energy rating. I thought 5 star was as good as it got? Isn't that making it up as you go along?

There are some obvious missing comforts such as radiators and a gas fire. But we do have a duct heating system, which comes through vents in the ceiling located through the house before quickly disappearing through the 16 large single pane windows and 4 patio doors. Using it is like throwing cash down the drain (or out the window.) We Brits take central heating and double glazing for granted, fools.

Open plan living doesn't help. The lounge, kitchen, dining area and TV room is basically one gigantic area - it looks seriously fab, but it is also rather a problem for heating it in the first instance, keeping it warm in the second.

I am musing all this over amidst a huge debate in Australia about carbon tax - a tax the government wants to enforce to subsidise its payments to offset its gargantuan carbon dioxide emissions. This country is one of the world's worst. I'm not a scientist, but me thinks there might be a link between this and their dubious home construction regulations. Even I can find it, and that's saying something.

And here it is. The country generated over 500 million tonnes of greenhouse gases in 2009, the worst of any developed country in the world. Most of this came from the energy sector which provides heating power for our homes, and mostly from power stations fired by coal, the worst culprit of carbon dioxide release. Emissions from the energy sector were down last year due to... wait for it... better weather. So whilst it's a bit of a leap to blame it all on the pathetic energy ratings and paper thin houses, I am ranting, and it's good enough for me. Insulated homes = less energy = less CO2. No wonder Julia is in big trouble selling this tax. It's not as if any of us feel any bloody warmer.

We could spend a small fortune installing double glazing, a fire, and better loft insulation. Or continue to live indoors in winter clothes for four months of the year - body warmers, hats, blankets - which is more likely, given that we have just spent afore mentioned small fortune buying our spanking new dream home.

Nope, we'll continue to dress like Eskimos, and cuddle for warmth. Igloo anyone? At least we wouldn't get lumped with the carbon tax.
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