A Weekend in Wild West Melbourne

I was going to call this one man, one bike, one weekend but that would have built it up too much. Admittedly at a bit of a loose end with Alison away, my plan was to get to know my local town Werribee a little better. When I say plan, it was more of a spur of the moment thing faced with an all clear from the physio to start cycling, a burgeoning waistline, and bugger all else to do. Yep - I could have hung out with friends, but that would have meant hanging out in someone's house, an Aussie tradition I’m still not entirely enthralled with.

9 to 5 Living - Australian homes are rubbish by European standards. It's like living in an Igloo.

June, 2011. Melbourne, Victoria.

To tell you the truth, I reckon an Igloo might be warmer than our house. The house actually came with a 5 star energy rating. This is a house with single glass panes that wobble when you touch them, single brick external walls with no insulation, and interior walls so thin you can have a perfectly clear conversation from one end of the house to the other, five rooms away. '5 Star rating my arse,' as Jim Royle would say.

Werribee Open Range Zoo, Victoria

June 2011

We are a little fortunate to have a zoo right on our doorstep here on the West Side of Melbourne, the Werribee Open Zoo one of three that Zoos Victoria operates.  It didn’t take long for us to snap up their annual Friends of the Zoo Pass which gives us year round access to all three. Originally a breeding ground for the city centre and space starved Melbourne Zoo, Werribee Open Zoo is now firmly a standalone attraction in its own right, less than twenty five kilometres from its better known sister, and still a well kept secret that the masses haven’t latched onto.

9 to 5 Traveller: Frequent Flier points are no bonus.

Sometime yesterday morning Alison would have woken up in London having covered 3 continents, twelve thousand miles, 3 airports and 28 hours of flight time. I really feel sorry for her today, even if she gets to be at home with family and friends while I slog it out at the office. Let's be honest, long haul flying is a horrible experience. Old Frank Sinatra tried to make flying sound romantic, Michael Buble tried to close the deal too, but when two of the smoothest crooners in the land can't convince us, you know it's bad.

U2 360 Tour, Etihad Stadium, Melbourne.

December 2010, Etihad Stadium, Melbourne.

Or as I liked to call it, The Jay Z 360 Tour.

But I couldn't tell Alison that, it was her birthday present after all, and I wouldn't want her to think I had an ulterior motive or anything.

This tour had all the hype: two superstar acts, the Claw (the biggest stage ever assembled), highest grossing tour of all time, highest attended tour of all time, probably the longest tour of all time, and surely one of the loudest. The downside of such a big production was that carting all this stuff around the world guzzled enough fuel and emitted more carbon dioxide than flying to Mars and back. Isn't Bono trying to save the world or something? Maybe he was on a break.

Now That's What I Call A Music Festival - the Apollo Bay Music Festival.

April 2011 - Apollo Bay Music Festival.
There was a time in the late nineties when I was a regular of sorts on the Festival scene. I wasn't what you would call a hardcore festival devotee by any means, I generally took the more sanitised route of V Festivals and the like, but they were a lot of fun. I have memories of the non stop partying, of waking up next to strangers in tents, of the inevitable rain soaked fields, of bouncing joyfully through the masses, the no shower/no toilet regime, and of the frenetic pace of it all. And then there was the music. Wait. I almost remembered something else then. Nope, it's gone.

Braeside Cafe, Mount Macedon, Victoria

An hour's journey north of Melbourne and you can find a truly rare sight in Victoria... a mountain. Well, a large hill at least. The Victorian lands are so flat that at times you almost forget hills exist. To give you an idea of just how flat the West of Melbourne is, you can see the city scape from our house, which is 30km away. So when they do have a rocky outcrop of any magnitude to shout about, you can forgive them for getting a little excited and proclaiming it a mountain. Point in case Mount Macedon, which rises to just over one thousand metres and whilst no way near Alpine scale, is still mightily impressive as you approach it from the Calder Freeway.

Kobe Bryant... and other Sports Stars I hate.

The two-time reigning NBA champions the LA Lakers were emphatically dumped out of the NBA playoffs this week, hammered 4-0 by the Dallas Mavericks, and I loved every second of it. I don't have anything against the Lakers, indeed Magic Johnson has long been my all time favourite player and the 80's Lakers my favourite team, it's just that I can't stand Kobe Bryant, their self proclaimed superstar.

Great Places to Stay.

Now and again we have uncovered some absolute gems on our travels, which is completely and utterly down to Alison. She spends hours plotting and planning our trips, making sure we find interesting and unusual accommodation. It is tempting to keep them a secret, but that wouldn't be fair, so here is a list of some of the more memorable places we have stayed in. They all offer something unique, and get the 5 star thumbs up from Alison and me. However, since our tastes may not be too everyone elses, I have also included a more traditional star rating to set your expectations! All of the hotels, guest houses and hostels below are firmly located in areas of outstanding beauty or cultural interest.

ShadowFax Vineyard, Werribee

Saturday 4 June

How our life has changed. If we had an old friend round to our house back in the UK, the options in the immediate vicinity would have been limited to a pint of warm beer in the local pub at the end of the street, followed by a soggy pizza at the very average Italian at the top of the hill. In Werribee, we have a vineyard, a fabulous Open Zoo, a stately mansion and park, and an 18 hole golf course just ten minutes away. What's more you could visit all of them in a day and probably have change from $100 per person, if you had the energy. Throw in an evening stroll on South Werribee beach, and you can finish off the day in style.

The Good Food and Wine Show, Melbourne Convention Centre

Friday 3 June

I was fortunate to have the opportunity of combining work with pleasure late Friday afternoon, with a visit to the Good Food and Wine show. It's the first foodie show I have been to and I pleasantly surprised to see how enjoyable these types of thing can be.

Ex Pat Life: Emergency Clothes deliveries from Marks & Sparks

An emergency relief package was express airlifted into our house this week. No the floods hadn't reached Victoria, there weren't any bush fires, or cyclones, or any other natural disasters. It was a delivery from Marks & Spencer's. And yes it was urgent.

'Hello 999?' 'Yes help me. Can you give me the number for Marks & Sparks please?'