A Weekend in Wild West Melbourne

I was going to call this one man, one bike, one weekend but that would have built it up too much. Admittedly at a bit of a loose end with Alison away, my plan was to get to know my local town Werribee a little better. When I say plan, it was more of a spur of the moment thing faced with an all clear from the physio to start cycling, a burgeoning waistline, and bugger all else to do. Yep - I could have hung out with friends, but that would have meant hanging out in someone's house, an Aussie tradition I’m still not entirely enthralled with.


Firstly, let me give you a bit of background. We actually live in a suburb called Point Cook, but it would be generous to call it a town, it’s really a sprawling Middle Class suburb. Werribee is the closest town of any note, and it's not one that comes with any glamour. There is a bit of an East/West divide in Melbourne. Generally the East is full of mansions, towns with English names, and pretty bays. The West has none of the above. It's down to earth, working class, and industrial. Werribee itself is one town with a bad rep, earned the hard way and one which the hoons are probably proud of. But times are-a-changing. It's the country's fastest growing municipality, with the fastest growing real estate, and a lot of investment. It is blessed by a location on the splendid Werribee River, acres of open farmland (for now) and its South Werribee off shoot has a great bayside beach. They don't make enough of any of those yet, but there are big plans to do exactly that. So here we go: I tucked the car in the garage, I grabbed my bike, and I was on my way.

Saturday:
Werribee Open Zoo: a gentle thirty minute ride down Federation Trail bike path on this beautifully sunny winter’s day and I am at my first stop of the day. I met a rather large bird of prey on the path, just sat on the path in front of me, before flying onto the perch shown in the picture. It was absolutely huge, half a metre tall, so I was guessing a falcon or a kite. Amazing, and this was before I got to the zoo. Oh yes, the zoo. Originally a breeding ground for the city centre and space starved Melbourne Zoo, Werribee Open Zoo is now firmly a standalone attraction in its own right, less than twenty five kilometres from its better known sister, and still a well kept secret that the masses haven’t latched onto.

You can read about it in a bit more detail here, it is a terrific zoo! Brand new facilities, funky design, compact yet built with hidden trails, animal sculptures galore, and it's piece de resistance – the safari bus tours which cover over two hundred hectares of African and Arabian plains. Plus, you get a bit of comedy and entertainment courtesy of Chris, our friendly tour guide, for no extra cost.

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Commercial Hotel, Hicksville.

Werribee Town Centre & the Commercial Hotel: twenty minutes bike ride away, the town centre is basically one long street with single rise shops on either side. An old lecturer once told me you get what you deserve when it comes down to retail - clearly the locals want empty units, op shops (charity shops), and takeaways. There are one or two pubs so I decide to check out the Commercial Hotel. I pick up a beer and head into the beer garden to enjoy the evening sun. I am in the midst of the twilight zone. It's not good. Half the people there are so pissed, they can't speak, or just can't speak full stop. I hear someone scream 'Sex is the last f**kin thing on a woman's mind.' Last thing on my mind too when I turned round to see the scary beast. There were young parrots flying around for goodness sake. Have some respect. I stayed for one schooner. Ok I'll be honest. The women scared me. This is where Werribee's reputation was formed. And feared.

Curry Guru: next stop was for a curry for one at the Curry Guru. There are a few restaurants in Werribee, but it really comes down to a choice between Indian, Italian or Chicken Parmigana (which = pub food in Aussie speak.) The Guru is pretty solid, good veggie choice, with a reasonable atmosphere. Werribee folk obviously prefer eating at home, judging by the number of takeaways in town. It’s the same for Curry Guru: even though the takeaway is the same price, the queue for take away is actually bigger than for the restaurant. Seriously why would you eat at home, when it costs the same, it's bring your own alcohol (I love BYO), and you can pick up a $5 bottle of Sauv Blanc from the Bottle Shop across the street and happily guzzle it with your food. I indeed did just that, just to test this hypothesis of course. My Aloo Gobi, Onion Bhaji and Roti were excellent.

By this time it was dark, and so was the Federation Trail bike path, which made it a little more precarious, though the only real hazard in the end was avoiding the multitude of rabbits playing chicken in front of me. (There was almost a Watership Down incident, but thankfully avoided, good luck with the falcon / kite tomorrow mr rabbit nine lives.)

Sunday
Federation Trail & Werribee River: after a quick visit to the gym, I am back on the Federation Trail by 1pm, but this time I take it a leg further, through the Werribee River Park. In time it is going to be pretty special down here, as they are extending the route towards the Werribee Mansions Park. It is still special now as the wide flat river cuts through a gum tree forest. Nice. Eventually I arrive at the Werribee Sports precinct, which not only has the Footy Oval, but also a 50m outdoor pool, tennis courts and a bowling green. As much as I tempted by the bowls (seriously) my next destination is the footy ground.

Werribee Tigers vs Coburg Tigers VFL: the VFL (Victorian Football League) is the feeder league to the AFL. Werribee is at the moment a mid table team - I have absolutely no idea whether they are any good. The ground is impressive, located by the river and surrounded by 50m high trees, and a mixture of traditional footy stands and open areas to set down your chairs and picnics. $10 entry, $4 a beer, maybe a thousand in the ground but these ovals are so big, it’s hard to put a number on it. The game is also live on ABC1, the equivalent of BBC 1. That's like having Bury v Accrington Stanley on the beeb. The footy is great, real end to end stuff. There are some spectacular marks and goals. No fights. Booooo. Unfortunately the rain came though. I didn't see that one coming, but in a city built on a reputation for four seasons in a day, you never do. It’s a bloody long game. By 4pm two hours after kick off, we were still in the third quarter. You can see the game gets a bit more exciting the longer it goes on. They teams are knackered, survival of the fittest, and Werribee look fitter. The end of quarter hooter signals hands on heads time. By now my hands are in gloves and I have my woolly hat on. Four hours ago, I was sweltering. Bizarrely I am quite impressed by the umpires. There are a small army of them and they synchronise their flag waving at either end to perfection. By the time Werribee have won the game, I realise I have found my answer to the most important question you face as a Melbournian – “who’s your footy team?” I am shunning the AFL, Werribee it is.

By the time I got home, I was absolutely knackered. I had probably only covered around 50km on my bike all weekend, but it felt like twice that. I am seriously unfit. I sense more bike adventures coming on some time soon!