The Fijian Resort, Yanuca Island, Fiji

We went against the grain a little with this trip. We hardly ever stay in luxury hotels, always meticulously plan our trips, like to be in the thick of the action, and we tend to keep moving on, backpacks in tow. Yet somehow we had booked a last minute trip for 7 nights in a 5* Shangri-La resort in the middle of nowhere, in a place we knew absolutely nothing about. That tends to happen when you forget to book somewhere to go two weeks before you have a week off. Still, that said, with the thought of seven days of tropical Fijian luxury ahead of us, we weren't complaining, and definitely not worried. Until I decided to read the hotel reviews the day before we were due to travel. Talk about opening a can of worms.


There were  absolutely hundreds of comments on this hotel, and as polarising as they could possibly be. 'Absolutely stunning' compliments sit alongside outright threats of 'DO NOT STAY HERE if your life depended on it', 'very disappointed' and 'don't waste your money.'  I can understand a few one off remarks due to Delhi belly, a mix up over a booking or some Fiji-time service problems. But for every couple of really good reviews there was at least one terrible one. This bothered me a lot. I had spotted the advert, I had done the online booking, it was all on me. Alison wasn't going to forget that bit. Goddamn it.

I took my mind off it through reading a book on the short four and a half hour flight from Melbourne. The taxi driver also helped as he gave us the guided tour narrative on the sixty minute drive to the hotel. It was only when we arrived at reception that my heart started pumping.

I needn't have worried about a thing, this hotel is living proof that tripadvisor can be a dangerous place to browse. And that some people are weird.

The location is stunning, basking on its tropical island surrounded by its own coral reef, and connected to the mainland by a short causeway. We had a huge two bedded room, with a balcony just metres off the beach. There were at least two kilometers of private, and practically deserted palm fringed beach, wonderful snorkeling right off shore, three swimming pools, free water sports including kayaks and catamarans, an abundance of well kept tropical gardens, a nine hole golf course, our own colony of Indian Bats, and gorgeous short walks (which you needed to walk off the gargantuan buffet breakfasts.) To top it all off, they even had Air Hockey in the kids amusement arcade and Bingo twice a week in the bar; priceless.

Avoid staying
where you see this sign

Food is the one area of passionate debate in the reviews, and a good place to kick off my very brief list of negatives. There are around five restaurants, all of which you have to make a reservation for, which itself is a bit annoying and unspontaneous, but no big deal. Whilst all of them have idyllic locations on the seafront, and the quality and service is pretty good, they are all way overpriced (I eventually found the reason why, see below, bloody kids.) We would also have appreciated more vegetarian choice, but what they had was surprisingly tasty, especially in the Kevalu restaurant. We found relief in Gecko's - a restaurant ten minutes walk out of the hotel which has excellent food and Fijian entertainment, and in Sigatoka, the main village 15 mins away by cab.


My only other minor irritations were indeed minor -the location is a little cut off from other facilities, and the aircon unit in the room vibrated like a 1970's transit van. Honestly, I couldn't find much wrong with it apart from that, and I have stayed in some of the best, and worst. The only thing I can put the many mixed reviews down to is expectations. We have only stayed in one Shangri-La before, Barr Al Jissah in Muscat which is absolutely stunning. You would probably have to agree that the Fijian is four and a half star compared to that, but it's all a bit nit picking if you ask me.


In fact my biggest gripe had nothing to do with the hotel at all. It was to do with the number of brats in the complex. I have nothing against kids, just that I detest brats. They are everywhere, and mainly of the very loud and spoilt Australian kind, and that brings chaos to all the restaurants, and the main pool. Yet there is a God and he goes by the name of 'Adults Only'. He has a special pool and restaurant. Hallelujah. They also seem to have a block of rooms also spiritually segregated. Be sure to ask for one if that's your gig. Highly recommended. I also got the feeling that it was the 'kids eat free' principle which made the restaurant prices so high. Every time I saw one of the little monsters munching on cake, I knew that I was paying for it somewhere. Grrr.

And yet we finally come to the biggest reason where I really can't sympathise with the complainers. You get stay at the Fijian with its idyllic location, fantastic rooms and all the trimmings, for less than $150 AUD a night, which is around ninety quid. Get a life people, now.