Myths & Legends Australia: Over 35's Master Basketball

It sounds like a fierce shoot-em-up, action packed one hundred mile an hour playstation game, straight out of 'Nam. It couldn't be further from reality. I'm actually referring to a weekly snail paced shoot-if-you-have-the-strength scene of convalescence for former addicts.

Welcome to the world of over 35's basketball, my spiritual rest home.


The Aussies are mad for sport, that is pretty well known. Unlike the poms, it isn't an obsession that is confined to the armchair, a beer in one hand, a remote in the other, and one way expletive rants into a flat screen. They prefer to play, regardless of the onset of old age. They simply move into Veteran leagues - if you can't beat 'em, then breakaway and go solo kind of thing. A bit like the Swiss.

You can find a Vets league in all Basketball centres across the Melbourne suburbs - my sleepy local backwater of Werribee has one, even though it doesn't have a single decent pub. Talk about mixed priorities. It has its own brand - MYTHS & LEGENDS - and unique sense of humour. Teams are called Coodabeans, Wasted Talent and Dad's Army to name a few. Games are reduced to assist the elderly, with twenty minutes running clock. This means even games that tip at 9pm allow you to be curled up in front of the box with a cup of tea just after 10pm. Bless.

It's fair to say that some of the traditional plays in basketball have to be re-thought. Fast breaks become endurance tests, three pointers restricted to those who can see that far, assists are helping someone up off the floor, and the only slams involve a tubby forty something hitting the floor hard after tripping over the ball.

Its staggering to find some of the players are over 70. That's the same age as my Dad and as much as I love him to bits, I worry about him going out for a walk, what with his crook knee, and forgetfulness. I'm not sure he would remember which night was game night, never mind to actually pack his kit at the same time, and find the court before tip. Fixtures are also posted online which is a no-go zone for him - probably a good job since he won't be able to read this.

Generally the games are played in good spirit and are a lot of fun. There is always one team that is an exception. Blokes who simply can't get the fact that no one really cares about the result, and it's all a bit of a laugh. They tend to have former footy players in them who still think it's a war out there. We do the grown up thing: we refuse to play them. We prefer to be able to walk the next day, which is hard enough at our age after running around for 45 minutes as it is. We are a truly mature bunch all round, in every sense of the word - as the cliché goes, it's not all about winning, it's the taking part that counts - it's taken me thirty nine years to finally appreciate that, heaven knows what I'll learn in the next twenty or so.

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